A Secret Lover
by The Iron Tinker Boy
Summary: Philip Blake, also known as The Governor, has gone through far too much, and breaks down at the foot of the cross, in the chapel. When Milton finds him, the two share a heartfelt moment. / Milip (Philip/Milton) Ficlet - DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T SHIP THEM /


During a cold evening, well after curfew, a bruised and bloodied Philip Blake, also known as The Governor, entered the chapel, with an eyepatch over his badly injured right eye. There was only one chapel in Woodbury, it was nearly burned down, pews barely held together, but it was enough. The door opened with an eerie creak, which sent shivers down Philip's spine. Since this apocalypse began - since he became The Governor, more specifically - he knew he was losing it. Losing his sanity. Losing his former self. He couldn't stop it, anymore. He'd been through far too much.

He walked down to the front of the church, looking around at the tattered remains of different tapestries, sculptures and paintings, before his eye finally landed on the large cross in front of him. He stopped walking, looking at the cross, his features remaining emotionless. He remained that way for several long moments, before he just dropped to his knees with a loud thud, which echoed throughout the chapel. He lowered his head, his jaw clenched in both anger, and pain. He didn't understand why _God_ would send the world to hell like this. Why would he kill all these people? So many _children_, on top of that. Was he _trying_ to punish them?

"What's the point of all this?! If you love your people so damn much, why do this?! So many people... Men, women... _children_, gone... Why?!" Philip yelled out loud, furiously. He couldn't contain his rage any longer. He knew he wouldn't get an answer, but he couldn't stop himself.

He stayed quiet for a moment. His head hung as he remembered Penny. Thoughts of her before the apocalypse - becoming a walker, before Michonne killed her - flashed before his eyes. It was so vivid, it hurt him, _physically._ He let out a low growl of anger, allowing a stray tear to slide down along his cheek. He missed her. _A lot_. He wished he could've done something... _anything _to save her.

He shook his head slightly, almost as if he was trying to snap himself out of it. His chest tightened as hi wife, Sarah, soon came into view, in his mind, standing with Penny. Sarah looked beautiful as ever, and Penny was laughing, and playing on her own. This brought even more tears to his eye, and he let out a fairly loud sob.

**Philip Blake finally broke.**

How much longer could he take this? He had no idea, but it couldn't be much longer... Could it?

He placed his head in his hands, continuing to sob, quietly. He felt weak. Too weak, and heartbroken to do anything useful. He missed his family _so _much. He knew he needed to be a leader to these people. That's what they needed. But, he didn't know if he could do that, any longer.

Philip nearly jumped out of his skin, being snapped back to reality, as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Out of pure instinct, he spun around, grabbing whoever - or whatever - had touched him, by the wrist.

A fairly loud yelp, followed by a soft whimper made him stop himself, and immediately loosen his grip. It wasn't a walker...

"Philip, it's just me, stop it!" Milton yelped, trying to pull his wrist away.

Philip blinked once, hearing Milton's voice. He wiped at his face as he got to his feet, quickly. "God damn it, Milton. I could've killed you, right there! Don't scare me like that!" He wiped at his eye as he spoke, trying to hide the fact that he'd been crying.

Milton only watched him for a moment, in silence. He'd witnessed the whole thing, but he was never too good at comforting people. And, knowing Philip, he'd react in one of two ways. Either he'd lash out, and make sure he wouldn't say anything, or, he'd only admit to it. Though, that second option was _highly_ unlikely. "I-I saw it all, S-Sir..." Milton murmured hesitantly, as he lowered his head, out of respect.

Philip studied him, for a moment. He'd known Milton for a while, now. Even before the apocalypse. He'd come to trust him. There was no use denying what had happened, when he knew the boy had seen it all. He gave a nod, "Yeah, I thought so." He mumbled. He was fairly embarrassed, now, but he was determined not to show it.

Milton lifted his head, tilting it to the side, curiosity overwhelming him. _Why would Philip try to hide it? _They were alone, and it was good to let it out... Right? He hesitantly placed a hand on Philip's shoulder. "Were you... Thinking about Sarah? ... And, Penny?"

Philip simply nodded, in silence, looking Milton in the eyes.

"Philip, they're in a better place, now. Sarah's death_ before_ the apocalypse was a blessing in disguise. She didn't have to go through all of this. And, as for Penny... Well, she knows her father tried to save her, and would even switch places with her, if possible. What more could she ask for?" Milton explained, quietly. He was surprised at his own words.

Philip listened to Milton. He was right, that much he knew. He nodded, in silence once again. Tears stung his eye once more, but he couldn't hold them back, this time. "I miss 'em..." He said quietly. He couldn't believe he was allowing himself to just... Break down, in front of someone. At least Milton was trustworthy.

"I know you do." Milton stated simply.

Involuntarily, Milton pulled Philip towards him, and into a hug. Philip stiffened slightly, but slowly relaxed and hugged him back. They were both surprised by their own actions. Neither of them would ever admit it, but it really did feel nice. Comforting, even. They held the embrace for several long moments, both secretly enjoying it. Soon enough, they pulled away. Neither of them said a word, which made the silence between then, awkward.

Philip cleared his throat, and gave a nod, as he straightened his vest. "This stays between us. Got it?"

Milton gave a nod, and smiled, "Got it."

And, with that, the two left the chapel, though they both knew, because of that single action, _nothing_ would ever be the same, between them.


End file.
